Barabbas laments

Wholeness requires that we accept and integrate aspects of ourselves and our society that are difficult and hard to face. With that in mind, I was recently drawn to the biblical references to Barabbas, the outlaw who was released from prison in Jesus’ stead. It made me think how every small piece of the jigsaw puzzle of life is connected, how no piece is ultimately more significant than any other, and that everything somehow fits. Barabbas was given the rough end of the pineapple, so to speak, by history and deserves better.

Barabbas laments

So Pilate, wishing to satisfy the crowd, released Barabbas for them; and after flogging Jesus, he handed him over to be crucified.
Mark 15:15

I was prepared for death,
Prepared as any man could be.
When the guards came to the cell
They laughed so hard
Their armour rattled and creaked.
I didn’t stop to see him crucified.
I ran as soon as I was out,
Ran for life in my bones and air in my lungs.

I took Tinneus’s donkey and rode to Samaria.
My father’s eyes bid me a frozen welcome.
He broke the milk jug
As he heaped his sour bag of misery
On my shoulders.
I spat and left his shitty hovel.

I am on the road now, many years since.

And I am tired of the looks saying
"You should have been in his place."
The whispers, the sneers,
The women without kindness,
The taverns unfriendly, the towns
With their gates shut.

If not for me,
What glory for this Son of Man?
For a martyr cannot be questioned,
Cannot be doubted but his life (and death)
Are aflame with heaven.
I am no preacher or spinner of charmed words,
I work with my hands and know what is good.

King of the Jews, Son of Man.
His followers throng, they appear
As out of the ground in every town.
They parade and sing
And mimic his path to the cross.

King of the Jews, Son of Man.
They say God willed his death,
So I played my part;
No man can deny this.

How am I different to him?