The Meaning of Nothing

I eavesdropped on a fascinating conversation the other day. Four people – an older couple and a younger one – sat down not far from my table while I was having lunch at a cafe and began discussing the meaning of non-being. It went like this:

“It’s amazing to think where you were before you were born,” the older man said. “Where was I? I was nothing.

“All these things were happening – all these events, world events – and where was I?”

“I find that really disturbing,” the older woman said. “I don’t know why. It just makes me shiver that I was nothing and that there’s nothing out there – that we go back to nothing.”

“I don’t think we go to nothing when we die,” the younger man chimed in. “I think there’s something there.”

“What do you mean?” the younger woman asked. “Are you saying that we go somewhere, to heaven?”

“I’m not religious. I just think that when we die we go to a place of love, of deep love and light.”

I enjoyed their discussion, a parley on subjects so immediate yet so deep. It gladdened me to hear people talk about such things and my own mind was stimulated to contemplate that “nothing” about which they spoke and the existence, or otherwise, of life after death.

There’s a classic Zen koan, or instructive riddle, that asks: “What was your original face before you were born?” The student of Zen meditates on the koan until its essence seeps into their soul. Its aim is to guide a person past the material layers of existence, past the rational everyday mind, and into a whole experience where being and non-being (my face when I was born, my face before I was born) are one. That experience of “just is”, beyond human delineations and conceptions, is said to be the heart of reality.

Accepting that, I wonder if non-being deserves more credit than it gets. As the cafe discussion progressed I began thinking that nothingness was more than some great cosmic pit out of which we emerged and into which we vanished at death. Paradoxically, it is an active presence or principle. Non-being and being are inseparable – to be, something has to come into existence, and if it does it must eventually die. These are the very basic rules of temporal reality. So in essence non-being is highly productive and deeply interwoven with being. It is the rich compost that gives birth to form and that receives form back to be remade, continuously to the end of time.

The idea that death is necessary for life has been understood since the early millennia of human thought. Hunter-gatherers and later crop and animal farmers lived close to nature, the cycles of life and death experienced intimately and everywhere to be seen. Various communities around the world made ritual sacrifices of crops, animals, and even sometimes people to ensure the proper cycles continued. Death was to be propitiated, non-being given appropriate reverence so that the fertile compost would keep producing new forms. Only recently in history, with the advent of modern Western culture, has a disconnection appeared in the human mind between being and non-being. Urbanised, industrialised humanity has lost the balance of the two, focusing almost exclusively on material existence, and denying the vital, essential role of non-being.

More than an empty abyss that bookends our life, non-being is a fundamental and constant part of everyday living. If we look closely, we can see its three variants or phases. Firstly, it is potential; it is the darkness that holds the ground from which everything is born and in which all is latent. When forms appear, potential is with them as they grow and change, continuously carrying possibilities for what they may be. Secondly, it is the decay that works upon all forms and their eventual death. And finally it is regeneration, the transformation of all in the great turning of the cycles of life. Here’s one simple example of the working of the three phases of non-being: A single fly emerges from potential into life. It lives and breeds, carrying its potential forward in its offspring and decaying as it nears the end of its life. One day it is caught in the web of a spider. Choking in the web, it is eaten by the spider. The fly in death is transformed into food and regeneration for the spider, into energy that becomes a part of the spider itself which in turn propels its life and eventual death.

The interplay of being and non-being is the basis of temporal reality and its product is change, constant change. When we meditate on this process, it can be immensely healing and comforting. There is a wild beauty in the processes of life and no part is out of place, nothing that is isolated or alone but everything has a reason and purpose. Seen in this way we cease to be angst-ridden by existence, but are active participants in a dynamic and creative Whole. The only danger is in thinking and acting as if somehow disconnected from this, as if the reality of life, its intimacy and integrity, doesn’t matter. Unfortunately, there is much of that presently in our world.

I think the young man in the cafe was right – we do go to a place of love and light when we die. But then we are in this place when we are alive too, even under the heaviest weight of suffering. We just have to open our eyes and look.